A postman came pedalling
On a bike, from the yard.
No bills in his hand
Just an old-postmarked Christmas card.
It was proof that the lazy twat
Had skived and not worked hard,
So he got a faceful of holly.
And mistletoe.
And he yelled
“Aaaaaargh-argh-argh,
Argh-argh-argh,
Argh-argh-argh.
Argh-argh-argh,
Argh-argh-argh,
Argh-argh-argh.”
A fit bird got a taxi
To my flat, from The Crown.
We got on so well
I was soon heading down.
Then, oh dear me,
She had the painters in town,
And she had had her pants full of Max-Catch.
And Tena Girl.
And I yelled
“Aaaaaargh-argh-argh,
Argh-argh-argh,
Argh-argh-argh.
Argh-argh-argh,
Argh-argh-argh,
Argh-argh-argh.”
So my message to you
In the season of snow,
Is don’t trust the postman
The lazy mo-fo,
And if your bird’s on the blob
Just go with the flow,
And if she has the face of an ogre,
Just think of Su-Bo.
Just think, don’t scream out,
“Aaaaaargh-argh-argh,
Argh-argh-argh,
Argh-argh-argh.
Argh-argh-argh,
Argh-argh-argh,
Argh-argh-argh.”





